Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Life is throwing me a Curve Ball

Lately I've been feeling like a large weight is sitting on my chest. It feels as though i'm literally going to cave in. That or just give up and be one of those people who hide in their apartment out of fear of facing the world on any given day.

It's not that anything terribly bad is happening to me, but little things seem to be happening in my life all at once. The car breaking down, coordinating maid of honour and bridal tasks and upcoming responsibilities, extra expenses I wasn't expecting, job dissatisfaction, family stress. I realize I get too caught up in worries and don't enjoy life as much as I should. I'm a constant ball of tension.

I need a vacation but we booked our honeymoon which is four months away. I need a career change but need the stability I have in my current position for the wedding, rent and now car rental payments. I feel as though I'm trapped in a large box with some room to maneuvre myself but very limited space to go where I want to be going.

It's Spring and the weather is beautiful, yet I'm still feeling anxious, tired and helpless. Very depressing I know. I need to bring myself out of this rut somehow and get a hold of my life. I know only I can change how I'm feeling. I just wish I had a genie who would grant me my life's wishes. I would take away my stress, provide myself with more money and never have to worry about stepping into an office, with it's politics, again.

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