Friday, April 11, 2008

When We have to say goodbye to our Loved Ones

I've been feeling many emotions up and down in the last few months. Brilliant emotions about my upcoming wedding, low emotions about my current career situation and very recently low emotions about the up coming passing of my grandma.

Recently, my dad phoned to let me know my grandma was diagnosed with Accute Lieukemia and had only days to live. The shock that entered my body and mind was overwhelming. My grandma, mother of nine grown children, grandmother to over 30 grandchildren and great grandchildren would be leaving us all forever. Being such a strong woman her entire life and conquering colon cancer with chemotherapy and faith only five years ago, I didn't expect her to go in such a shockingly short time, without the chance to even fight.

My grandma has been my inspiration in everything she has done and stood for. My dad is the eldest of her nine children and very close to his mom. I also was close to her. She organized a large family, endured an unsatisfying marriage and finally separated from her husband, my grandpa, when she was 75 years old! She found the strength to save for her own house and move out after over 50 years of marriage. This event in my grandma's life later provided me with the strength and inspiration to follow in her footsteps when I found myself living with a boyfriend who didn't treat me properly (to put it lightly) at the young age of 23.

When I first received the call from my dad, I felt very alone and very far away. I live only two hours away but wished I could have rushed to my grandma's side the same night. I did go the following day to see her and am happy I did. The Lieukemia hadn't yet taken her life or her livelihood away. Because of the time frame given to her by the doctors, I had to mourn her when I was visiting with her in person. This proved to be very difficult but I had the opportunity to see her alive. While difficult however, I had the opportunity to show my appreciation to her, comfort her and say goodbye.

Many people don't have the opportunity to say goodbye to those they love. Many people pass away unexpectedly and goodbyes must be said when the deceased are already six feet under ground. I now feel fortunate to have had the chance to see my grandma before she left. While I found myself mourning her coming death, I also found myself celebrating the life and legacy she was leaving behind.

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