Saturday, August 16, 2008

Dignity or Money?

I'm currently in a very bad place job-wise at the moment. And being so close to my wedding I feel I must choose between my own dignity and self sanity or the money I'm currently bringing in.

I left my stable job at a large insurance company, along with two amazing bosses two months ago to pursue what I thought would be an amazing opportunity in an industry I have been wanting to pursue for some time. I'm now in the not for profit world and I'm supposed to be going home every night feeling rewarded. And I have gone home feeling just that, however, since I began there has been this nagging feeling that something isn't right.

Where I felt supported and part of a team in my last place, I am now feeling out on my own, disrespected and degraded. Do people in higher positions treat the 'little ones' with disdain because they are taking their 'level of importance' too seriously and get out of control with their control? Or are they just insecure with themselves, making themselves feel better about personal issues by taking it out on those who have been hired to help them?

I'm sure I can ask myself these questions over and over again without a straight answer. All I know is I'm in the world of Devil Wears Prada meets the not-for-profit world. I cried everyday this past week, making yesterday the record breaker. I cried from 9a.m. - 6p.m.

I have to make a choice for myself now and decide if my dignity (and my health) are more important and leave the situation? Or do I trudge on through this 'crap' until I find something more fitting to my personality, professional goals and healthier working environment?

I'm trying to start my own business but in the meantime need the extra funds. This is a big decision for me!

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